


Don't let them break you

by october_lady



Series: Something Morrilla [1]
Category: Morrilla - Fandom, Once Upon a Time RPF
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 12:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3650952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/october_lady/pseuds/october_lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Jen getting a feather tattoo over some old self harm scars and then Lana seeing it one day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't let them break you

**Author's Note:**

> Day one of the Morrilla Week - How it began

Lana groaned. She was trying to memorize the lines from the new script she just got. It wasn’t that difficult but it was a dialogue Regina was having with Emma, quite emotional and those are easier to remember when there’s some other person to help you with that. There was no way Lola or Lenny could help her with that. They were both lying at her feet on the grass, enjoying the shadow and warmth.

It was late spring, the temperature was getting higher, everything was growing, the grass smelt and the only thing she wanted to do was just look around, enjoy the sun and her coffee and nothing more.

She sighed. Being outside was distracting but she refused to go inside and lock herself in her bedroom. She reached for her phone and opened a new message.

“Have you seen the script yet?”

The answer came faster than she expected.

“Working on it right now. Why are you asking?” Lana smiled. Of course Jen is the good girl, never procrastinating.

“I find it difficult to concentrate when it’s such a nice weather. Besides, I was thinking that it would be easier if we went through the lines together? Only if you want to, of course.”

“Sounds good. I’m almost on my way.”

Lana put her phone down and reached out to pet Lola’s head.

“Jen is coming and maybe she’ll take Ava with,” she smirked at her dog.

The blonde and the brunette were friends. Not very close ones, they didn’t spent much time off set together. They usually only met to go through the lines. But they both seemed to enjoy the time together. Lana felt like there was some connection between them. It was strange because they only shared some general stuff, not really sharing secrets over a drink. But they could be silent for long moments and they still felt comfortable. There was no need to talk, no need to ramble about nothing.

They were the perfect persons for each other when they wanted to be alone but not really. And yet they didn’t feel the need to get any closer, to tell each other personal things. It was an unspoken rule, a rule that if broken, could harm the relationship they had. At least they felt that way.

It took Jen only a little bit over a half an hour to come over.

Lola and Ava ran to the garden immediately, fooling around like old friends. The two women were watching them for a while, smiling.

“It’s cute how they are friends despite Lola being much bigger than Ava.” Jen smiled and sat down on the blanket Lana had spread on the grass.

“Shows that not only people who are different can be friends, but also animals,” Lana laughed and landed on the ground. “Ouch.” And landed harder than intended.

They went straight to work, going through a line after line, discussing every sentence, every move, intonation.

About an hour later, they were almost done.

“I’m sorry, do you want something to drink? Or some snack? I’m a terrible person, I didn’t offer you anything.” Lana slapped herself into her forehead, shaking her head.

“I’m fine, don’t worry, Lana.”

“It’s not fine. I’m gonna get something.”

Lana disappeared in the house. Few minutes later, she was hurrying back, carrying a tray with orange juice and some fruit.

“This is nice, I won’t reject berries!”

The brunette laughed and set it all down carefully. They ate in silence for a while, watching the dogs play with some balls and other toys.

“Jen, can I ask you something?” Lana looked at her insecurely.

“Hm?” The blonde shook her head hesitantly, not being able to speak because of the big strawberry she just stuck into her mouth.

“Your tattoo…” she pointed to Jen’s forearm.

“What about it?” Jen shifted nervously and caressed the picture with her other hand. It almost looked like she was trying to hide it.

“It’s very similar to mine… so I was wondering, why did you decided for this? Birds and feathers?” Jen’s forearm was showing several birds, from bigger ones to small ones, like they were disappearing in the distance, flying away. One of them lost a feather that now looked like blowing in the wind.

She shrugged and caressed the birds again.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer…”

“It’s okay. I guess I never really told anyone…”

“Hey, no pressure, I was just curious,” Lana smiled and touched the pale forearm. She squeezed it for a second and caressed it from the wrist to the elbow, ready to let go again. But what she felt made her freeze.

Jen froze as well, as soon as she knew what happened.

“Jen…?” Lana looked up at her, her fingers still covering the birds. The blonde pulled her arm away, covering it with the other one, hiding it in front of the world. “Are those…scars?” The brunette’s voice was just above a whisper, her eyes wide with shock and fear, concern drawn all over her face.

The blonde was sitting with her side to her, looking away, not answering.

Lana was sure those were scars. From a knife or something sharp, several cuts across the forearm. She could feel them with her fingers. They were healed, probably long time ago, but they were still there, for ever, not going away.

“I’m so sorry, Jen, I didn’t mean… I mean I…” she cut off, not sure what to say. “May I hug you?” She waited for an answer but the blonde didn’t move. Lana moved closer to her and put her arms around her shoulders, slowly, not to scare her off and let them loose enough to show she can shake her off, run away or just stay.

At first the blonde stifled, not really being ready for this. But after a while she found herself relaxing a little bit. Lana felt that too and tightened her hug a little bit, just to assure her that she’s there for her.

“I’m so sorry…” Lana repeated it several times, whispering it into Jen’s ear.

It took couple of minutes but after a while the blonde started to fully relax into the hug. With the relaxation came relieve, relieve that this big secret is finding its way out for the first time in years. All this released the tears she was refusing to let out but she couldn’t anymore, there were too many of them and soon her small body started to shake in silent sobs.

“Shhhh, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” Lana tightened her grip more and pressed her full body against the blonde’s back, rocking her back and forth. “I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore, you’re safe now. Just let it out, cry as much as you want. Shhhh.” Lana was whispering, repeating all those words like a mantra.

They’ve been sitting there for almost a half an hour, still in the embrace. Jen was taking deep breaths, trying to stop the tears and calm down a little bit.

“The birds symbolize freedom. Like when they fly into the warm countries, looking for a better place to live, leaving the cold behind. The feather represents past. Letting it go, leaving it behind.” Jen told it silently, looking at the black pictures.

“I like it,” Lana smiled into the blond hair. “It’s almost like mine. Hope. I’m so proud of you.” It was a mere whisper, hardly audible. To support her words, Lana placed a quick kiss on Jen’s cheek. And then she realized what she did. She let go of Jen and pulled further away, making a space between them.

“I’m sorry, all this made me kinda emotional, I shouldn’t have…” She ran a hand through her hair nervously.

“It’s okay.” The crying was still in Jen’s voice but there was also a little smile.

“Okay…” She didn’t know what to do now, she felt awkward.

“Lana…?”

“Yes?”

“Could you… hold me again? For a while?” The question was so sheepish, so unsure of everything.

“Come here,” Lana smiled. She sat next to Jen and pulled her on her chest, this being a better way to hug the blonde properly. “I’m gonna hold you as long as you want.” She pulled her closer and placed a kiss into the blond curls.


End file.
